June 16th, 2012

Sex & Relationships: Why don’t you get back together?

Posted on 16 Jun 2012 at 8:52am

When a friend’s just been dumped, a kind, sensitive word can be just the tonic for helping mend the pain of a broken heart. But if you say the wrong thing you’ll be in danger of having your head bitten off. Here’s our handy list of what not to say…

1. I’m devastated! It’s not just your friend who won’t be seeing his or her ex any more – you will probably lose touch with them, too, and this can be a bit disappointing. But anything you’re feeling is nothing compared to the loss that your friend is dealing with. Plus the last thing they’ll want is to feel guilty for letting everyone else down, or to think their mates are more concerned about their own social lives than his or her feelings, so put selfish thoughts aside. 2. You were such a great couple to hang out with Maybe they were fantastically fun as a pair and you might think you’re helping by telling your friend this but, at this precise moment, you’re really not. Break-ups can be a real confidence knock, especially if the relationship’s lasted a while – your friend might be worrying how they’ll re-adjust to being alone. Comments like this run the risk of implying your friend isn’t going to be as fun, or popular, now they don’t have their ‘other half’. Focus on building up their self-esteem, reminding them they’re great and that you love them. 3. I never liked him anyway You might think this will make your friend feel better but, even if you didn’t like their partner, remember that the end of a relationship is always a grieving process – and your friend will need time to come to terms with it. Also, bring this up for the first time now and you’ll need to prepare for a possible awkward conversation – your pal might wonder why you didn’t share your concerns sooner. Plus, there’s always that chance they’ll end up back together and you’ll have some serious back-tracking to do. 4. Let’s go out on the pull! You can secretly look forward to a night on the town together, but your pal may need a bit of time and space before launching back onto the dating scene. Besides, there’s truth to the old cliché that you need to be happy on your own before you can be happy with someone else. Lend a shoulder to cry on and let your mate deal with the break-up before suggesting they seek a new flame. They’ll probably bring up the idea themselves when they’re ready. (more…)



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