Theologian, Florence Scovel Shinn, once said, ‘intuition is a spiritual faculty that doesn’t explain, but simply points the way.’
After watching and observing with all the females in my life, mother, sister, aunts, friends, grandmother, neighbours, cousins and all that we sometimes go through. I pretty much decided at young and curious age that intuition was a gift God gave to women, because lets face it in all that we ladies sometimes deal with in life, we very much need something extra in our survival kit. As the carer of the two sexes it makes sense that we need an almost magical way of figuring things out before the situation inevitably outs itself.
I know all to well how frustrating it can be when you’re being accused by your man that you are paranoid. Whilst you are trying to discuss with your boyfriend about something you see or hear that just doesn’t sit right with you about his behaviour, what’s the first thing he tells you? ‘oh, your just being paranoid…why are you so paranoid’. Well at times he may have a point but other times there maybe good reason for you to feel the way you do about what stirring in your gut. The smart point is to know the difference and know how to react. Realistically we all experience some paranoia to some degree but the important thing is for you to acknowledge it in our relationships as it can be very destructive.
Do you ever get that sudden feeling, a feeling that’s almost not quite there but you know you shouldn’t ignore it? Then when you do disregard this ‘gut’ feeling and it materializes you realize it you’re your intuition giving you a heads up…so the next time you get this strange mysterious feeling pointing you in some strange direction, this haunch, a kind of sixth sense, you grab onto it, only to find out you were over thinking a situation and you were being paranoid. This is most likely to hit women in relationships, especially if the relationship is new.
We’ve all been there as women, your guy, husband or fiancée sits there eating his breakfast smiling at you innocently and all you can do is think, hmmmm is he really going to the gym this morning coz honestly my gut is telling me this dude is taking the mick and hiding something. There truly can be a thin line between paranoia and intuition and if you get it wrong not only do you look a little crazy, you will start doubt your ability to make logical decisions if you start to confuse the two.
While intuition can be described as a heightened awareness of ourselves and our environment, it’s not just a feeling it’s all the other aspects that go with it. You know, evidence! It’s not always obvious at the time you get that feeling, but it is there and when you recount the situation you can see that the evidence is there, you just ignored it. With paranoia the evidence is a perception, you’ve convinced yourself that something is the case so you can be right and continue to believe it’s true when it’s not.
By now I am very much aware that I have finely tuned intuition. It’s nothing to really boast about. When I get that weird kind of, brace yourself feeling and at first I ignored it because most times I didn’t want it to be true! Now I know better and the amount of times I have responded and had near misses it ridiculous. I’ve had a lot of ‘PHEW’ moments with this. On the other hand being in a relationship can really knock my ‘sixth sense’ radar out the window. Whether it is a relationship or personal safety I have learnt how to differentiate the two. The trick is then to ignore the paranoia and fine tune your ability to recognize and respond to your instincts.
The issue of course with intuition is you can’t control it, it just happens and there lye’s the key to the difference. Paranoia is different, it’s created by our over active negative thoughts and issues of low self esteem. Intuition tends to be instructive, a feeling of what you need to do to avoid a situation or take advantage of a great opportunity. It’s more about making choices. So for instance you meet a seemingly normal guy who’s just your type and you both get on like a house on fire but yet something just doesn’t sit right so you turn him down even though you can’s quite say why, only to later find out he’s married. Well that’s what I decided to do when I came across this situation, actually not only was he married he had a girlfriend.
The paranoid version would involve you engaging in a confrontation to force the issue out in the open, the worst part is your paranoia is unfounded and you’ve just made yourself look like a deranged lunatic. For instance you meet a seemingly normal guy who’s just your type and get on like a house on fire but yet something just doesn’t sit right when after several dates he makes excuses for why you can’t visit him at his place because he lives with his mum. Admit it some of us would start killing ourselves with the notion that he is married when in fact he really does live with his mother and it’s that innocent.
Here are some things to consider when making the distinction:
- Decisions based on paranoia are often based on bad or emotional past experiences. Are you basing your decision on what someone else did to you?
- Intuition is fleeting and will not sit in your head going over and over and over all the possibilities, the feeling comes and goes so quickly you almost don’t know if you felt it.
- Paranoia is false accusations pretending to be real and is caused by the terrifying fear of being hurt or taken for a fool. It’s important that you admit to yourself that this is what you are feeling.
- Paranoia victimizes the innocent by accusing them of being guilty of harmful actions that never occurred in the first place.
- Nine times out of then an intuitive express will reveal itself as being true to what you were initially feeling. Paranoid thoughts never do and just gives you more time and space for negative thoughts.
Extracts taken from Paul Hannig ( Relationship Therapist) of selfgrowth.com
Can you remember a time when you couldn’t tell the difference between the two ? Share your thoughts!