Are You Talking To Me? ‘Pride…The Fall of Man’ Swallow It & Grow Wiser16 Comments

By SassyChic
Posted on 31 Dec 2010 at 12:10pm

“Know what you know, know what you don’t know, and know who knows what you don’t know”

It takes a certain type of person with a certain type of quality to take on board constructive feedback and constructivism, no matter how painful the advise may seem. The first time someone told me ‘you’re too sensitive in nature’ I’d look at them as if they were speaking a native  language from an undiscovered African Village. Me? Sensitive? If you say so! The thing is when someone makes such a comment about our personality, you can either brush it off in denial or think, do they have a point? Either way when the fifth or tenth person says it then it’s not denial it’s turning into arrogance!

The fact that it’s the end of the year means there is no escaping the Internet as well as print media which is saturated with ideas on how to keep resolutions. Take your pick there are thousands ideas to choose from! The problem here is, no matter how relevant the information is in all these books, blogs and newspapers/magazines, or what psychological academic genius has written the information, it will fast become irrelevant if the main aspect is missing…

Like I’ve said, this post will only really affect you or mean anything to you if you are at a point in your life where you are ready to make specific changes or you have the will power and motivation for the changes. Such things cannot be forced and you will end up sliding back into old ways. I of all people should know as I have a mini library on such things to do make making changes.

I think it’s excellent to say we want to start the new year with new things but seriously it’s simple…if you do things the same way, you will get the same result! This is fine if what you are doing is bringing you a great flow money in the bank, big smiles, a feeling of contentment and great success in the goals you’ve made. If it’s not,  then like I said you need to ask if your denial is turning into arrogance.

The reason I can now put my hand up and agree that I’m a self confessed overly sensitive individual is because I had to swallow my pride and do something very significant that is more important than making a resolution list or signing up to the gym or belly dancing classes for the new year! I had to go through a time of introspection. I did this because being that way was affecting my relationships and my ability to take certain things on board because i was to busy getting offended. If you are not, will not or cannot do this? It is actually impossible to get anything tangible achieved. It’s a fact. It’s a process that cannot skipped! If you do this already then you will relate to what I am saying.

If someone makes an observation about you that is plainly factual for the world to see and observe and you don’t even know it yourself, then you need to be doing this. What observations has someone made about you that you think…really? Am I really like that? If you are asking that question, it’s even better than those that will fix you with a death stare because you have ‘touched a nerve’ and they don’t want to accept that what you’re saying is true. People should not know more about you than you! You’d be very pleasantly surprised how differently and less challenging things will seem if you can go through this process of self-reflection.

How can you get an interview for a job if people have informed, explained and advised that you’re too shy in nature. If you deny this and keep going the same way you continue to fail at interviews, your confidence will fail and what is the result? Or is it that you can’t find a decent guy, none of them ever calls you back for something tangible because you always try and be to dominant or come across scorned, your friends tell you and you brush off the comments, yet you are still single. At what point will being single allow you to sit and ask if those closet to you have a point?

If this process is unfamiliar to you, let me explain further. Introspection is not to be taken as self-doubt or insecurity, it’s about making yourself valuable! It’s a desire to assure you have done all you can do to fulfill an obligation that has been placed on you and can affect your success. It’s about ‘the examination of one’s own thoughts, impressions, and feelings over a period of time.’ It means swallowing your pride and taking on board other people’s suggestions and opinions. Even if you can’t admit it to them that they are right don’t do yourself and disservice by totally ignoring what has been said.

Like any other aspect of ourselves that we want to change it’s a challenge so I say don’t make it a big mountain for you to climb. Deal with one thing at a time. If that one aspect takes a few months to think over and change then so bit. It’s not realistic to write a long list of things you don’t like and need to change. Take one thing and consider/implement.

Are you too shy, not confident, always only talk about yourself, Shout at people, drink too much, always talk negative about yourself and situations, too submissive, too generous? The following points have been made as effective suggestions to help you on your self-reflection journey:

  • Listen to what is being said about your habit
  • Don’t get caught up in feeling hurt or offended by what has been said
  • Think of times that show what you are being told is the truth so you know it’s real
  • Consider why it might be the case you act that way
  • Think about how it makes you feel when someone has done the same thing to you
  • Make a conscious note of when and how often you act out this habit
  • Consider what changing this habit/behavior will mean
  • Understand that at times this particular behavior is a good thing but you need to balance out how you act it out. (Sometimes you need to raise your voice to be heard, sometimes you will have a hard night out on town drinking, sometimes you will need a minute to just talk about you and get things of your chest. )
  • Don’t scold yourself for it, you’ve had this habit for a long time and you didn’t even know you were doing it.
  • Consider a time when you didn’t react in a way that was expected of you, how did it feel?
  • Give yourself time to go through the change: It won’t happen overnight!
  • Think how you will respond or do things differently in certain situation.

Are you brave enough to admit the things that you know needs to change but won’t, can’t or don’t listen to reason? We are all guilty of it! I’ve told you mine…tell me yours!

‘You cannot be lonely if you love the person you’re alone with’…Wayne W. Dyer.

Hope this helps and good luck and blessing in your endeavors in 2011!

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  • Marian

    If someone knows u better than yourself, then better check your life style. That is my mind.

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  • Luscious

    Ok i’ve been told more than a few times that I am indecisive on many things and drives my ppl crazy but I guess it might be true! I even had a huge fight about it with my best pal on holiday. I think my pride was more hurt that’s why i didn’t really accept what she was saying. 

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    Sweethrt, dont worry you will be fine.Just sit down, analyze every situation and make up your mind.It takes time but it works, trust me.

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  • Marian

    It is sometimes very hard to accept what someone says abt your character or attitude but deep inside u feel it might be true but its difficult to admit. The responses to these many at times, results in arguements with the person complaining.

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    This is the best way to know whether what they are saying is true or not.You just have to realise the goodthat attitude did to you as compared to the bad.Happy New yr Marian darling.Hope you had fun during the holidays?Take care.

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    marian Reply:

    Happy new to u too Adjoa and many happy returns. I enjoyed small not much because I had a new job during the holidays.

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    Oh no shaking, the chilling always dey, daddy would make it up to you.9daddy…(a.ka. ur booboo)

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  • Adjoa Nbaaso)

    Omg!, honestly this is one of the nicest and most touching article I have ever read on here.Seriously, i enjoyed reading this from the beginning till the end.Hmmm, time changes.I remember when i thought feeling affended over everything was the coolest thing to do.O my goodness, ask me now and i will tell you life is too precious to work up with unnecessary stuffs on your mind.Sometimes its better to look pass what ppl. say.Can you believe I look into the mirror now, and I cant believe am the same person who didn’t tolerate that nonesense some time ago.Seriously emere dane!!!Well, my advice to all my ladies out there, dont take everything personal, always be selective on who to waste your time on. Remember its a world with different ppl. obviously not all would like you, look pass such ppl and continue your journey cuz at the end of the day happiness is what you looking for and not headaches.Whoever tries to make you unhappy, is not worth your life.

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    maame Reply:

    w’ano ate o! Indeed you are right. wasting your time over people who make you unhappy is not worth your life true that.

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    marian Reply:

    N’ano ate se ekoo. I like dat Adjoa.

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    Hahahahaha Marian you got me laughing.Am glad I made some contribution and my ladies loved it.

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    Lolzzz!!!!Oh maame, mesuasua woooo.Am glad you loved it.

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    Eh charlie maame did you rock dem heels and bag during the holidays?

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    mamizzle Reply:

    true talk! noo headaches! best ppl for advice are parents oo .. i will stick to this!

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    Mamizzle, no headachess, life is too precious!!!

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  • Anass

    I have been told a couple of times that i don’t have patience, i sat down and thought about it and i realised it was true. I made and still making a conscious effort to wait before i react to certain issues and am glad to say i hardly hear this comments of impatient again but my problem is, since i calm myself down i feel some people are taking me for granted or better still they are take issues that are of importance to me slow and that is really getting to me. I don’t want to get back to my impatient attitude but am afraid i will.

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