November 30th, 2010

So Funny but SO TRUE!

Posted on 30 Nov 2010 at 11:14pm

Apparently Men have a secret way of decoding the typical words that women use. I remember reading this and thinking ‘How crappy that I have to admit that some of this stuff is so darn true’! Which One Are You Ladies!

1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3. NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5. LOUD SIGH: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. THAT’S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ … that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

8. WHATEVER: Is a women’s way of saying F*cK YOU! 9. DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT/I’LL: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

THIS IS THE COUNTER ATTACK Live n Learn Ladies…Live n Learn!

A. “SURE. I’LL THROW THE TRASH/RUBBISH OUT RIGHT NOW.” – TRANSLATES TO – “If I remember to throw out the trash during the commercial break, I will do so. If I forget, then you’ll have to remind me again

B. “IS SOMETHING WRONG?” – TRANSLATES TO – “What did I do wrong now? And how long is it going to take for you to figure out how to blame me for whatever it is you’re upset about? I don’t have all night.”

C. “SURE, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?” – TRANSLATES TO – “I will sit and listen, but I can’t promise you that I’ll pay attention. You have 3 minutes before the game comes back from commercial break….

D. “NO, THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOUR BUTT LOOK BIG” – TRANSLATES TO  “When you know ‘no’ is the only answer, why do you ask?”

E. “NO, SHE’S NOT PRETTIER THAN YOU” – TRANSLATES TO – “Same as #4. How stupid do you think i am? It’s a rhetorical question, you don’t have to answer it. Although, I have a feeling you’ll let me know anyway.” “I’M SORRY.” – TRANSLATES TO – “I don’t know what I’m apologizing for, but it seems to be the only thing that’ll let me watch the rest of this darn game.”

F. “YOU’RE RIGHT, I’M WRONG.” – TRANSLATES TO – “You are angry. I am hungry. You don’t cook when you’re angry. Soooo…” “THANK YOU” – TRANSLATES TO – “While you’re up cooking, can you make that pie I really like?”. “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL” – TRANSLATES TO – “Now that the game is over, and we’re done eating… how about we… you know.



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