How To Get Your Boyfriend To Open Up In Your Relationship28 Comments

By gossipmama
Posted on 03 Nov 2010 at 7:49pm

Girls, below is an interesting article I stumbled upon which I guess would be beneficial to all my female readers on here. Check it out below….

One thing male bloggers brings to the table that’s different from regular men in society is we are vocal about our feelings and opinions about sex, dating and relationships. Most men just don’t talk much. I don’t get it. There are men who just don’t believe in talking to other men, but that has nothing to do with their girlfriend or wife. Those men just don’t talk to anyone. If you don’t use your abilities, you will lose them. I’m sure that we would all like to believe that if we had to speak up we could. But you will forget how, if you never practice. It’s doesn’t matter if your boyfriend never likes talking about your relationship; past, present or future. He still has to.

First important step to getting him to open up is avoiding those phrases that make him shut down or lie through their teeth. I shouldn’t have to tell you, but the phrase, “We need to talk,” is the worst thing you can say to a man. He just climbs into a shell and refuses to come out. Do not say this to him before or after sex. This is when men get extremely sexually frustrated or they are liable to lie straight through their teeth. I, Personally, do not have relationship conversation while riding in a car. There’s something about not being able to get away that just causes me to become irritable.

Figure out how your boyfriend communicates and learns. People communicate and learn differently, through visuals, communication, and reading. (Keep in mind, this is not about getting your boyfriend to learn how to express himself in the way that you think a man should. You just want him to express himself.) If your boyfriend is not good at talking, it might be a good idea to write him a letter. Sometimes, watching a movie helps me realize a flaw in my relationship or something that I may be doing wrong. Try different mediums of communicating.

Do a self assessment of yourself. A lot of times men feel that whatever they say will inevitably lead to an argument or him being attacked. If he typically says things like, “Don’t scream at me” replying, “I’m not screaming at you,” is counterproductive. And, if you usually open up discussions about an issue you have with him by asking him about your relationship, realize that you’re never going to get him to open up about anything.

For example;
Natasha: What do you think about our sex life?
Joe: I think it’s fine. I mean, we both have hectic schedules so it’s not as much as it used to be.
Natasha: I know. That’s what I was thinking. Why are you always so tired that you can’t make love to me?
Joe: [mumbles to himself, “Not this again”]

However, be sure not to coddle or pacify your boyfriend. If you treat your baby like a baby, he will behave like a baby. Talk to him directly in an adult voice. Use his name and not pet names. If he gets irritable and refuses to communicate like an adult, stop trying and let him talk to you when he’s ready to act like an adult. Don’t be super nice, though. It will come across as though you want something, and men just get suspicious when our lady is being too nice.

To recap, please be nice to him. It’s not every day that you are going to get a man to open up to you about his feelings or about how he feels about your relationship. Make sure the reason you are not able to have this conversation is not because you aren’t in a position to. And lastly, try communicating on his medium of choice. As he becomes more comfortable in his area, he will start to be open to talking in your area. Open and healthy communication is the key to a great relationship. Seek it out and never refuse to keep trying.

Source: BitchieLife

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  • Kemmystry

    Hear! Hear! to the article regarding how to get your man to open up. I think we all need to just understand that men and women are built differently, psychologically, physically, emotionally, socially etc. So of course we are going to speak different ‘languages’! An appreciation and understanding of this will allow for easy communication. :-)

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    marian Reply:

    We’ve heard and have learnt alot.lol

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  • Adjoa Nbaaso)

    Yea, men are usually not emotional as we women.The article says it all, study your man and you would know what he wants.

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    marian Reply:

    We r trying my dear.

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    Please do, look for his weak point and you will get him at all times…lol

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  • islander

    thanx!

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  • maame

    Men are not emotional at all. they dont care about anybody but their selfish feelings.. so gurls beware:) 

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    marian Reply:

    really? yes I think I have an experience. He talks nicely when he wants it. You know what i mean,maame. lol

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    When he wants “IT”.Oh yea, maame knows that “IT”

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    lol..hehehehheeee, maame I lie?

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    maame Reply:

    lol that’s the truth girl!

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  • islander

    some men are pretty emotional though! knew a guy once

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    maame Reply:

    ohh well.. the ones that i know are not emotional.. they can see you die and it wont tickle them..

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    islander Reply:

    true!

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    maame Reply:

    yeah missy.

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    Heheheheeee

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    They just fake it ooo….

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    maame Reply:

    lol those who want “IT” will fake it lol

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  • islander

    was preeety emotional…..

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  • marian

    Some men don’t care atall about their women.U complain n they think u r too much.U cry and they think u a crazy.They think we have to follow what they say.

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    Dont mind them, but they will always remain our babies.

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    maame Reply:

    Haha adjoa you so funny.. lol yeah they will always be our bayss NO MAtter how arrogant and selfish they get sometimes.

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  • marian

    Even when they try to cry u don’t see tears.lol

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    Thats waht we call “Azaa”…lol

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    maame Reply:

    Hahahaha OMG lol yall so funny. they be like ohh babe am so sorry and they tryna fake it in their voice but literally they NOT crying!

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  • marian

    If u talk to them calmly about ur sentiments,they think u r nagging.It is always said that men can’t be changed.They will always be boys.hmmmm

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    Adjoa Nbaaso) Reply:

    Its hard for men to listen especially when they dont want to.Seriously for a guy to patiently listen to a ladies problem hmmm, unless “he wants some pressups as you said….lol

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    maame Reply:

    lol “PRESSUPS” ofcourse. Men dont have feelings(ONLY SEX FEELINGS) Case die!

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